So today I am going to do something that I consider quite taboo in the blogging world. I am going to mix my personal life and business life. Normally I work really hard to keep my personal life and my business life separate as much as possible. But today I am going to break down that barrier for this one post and put it all out there, the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
Why am I getting so personal?
Because sometimes in order to start one’s life over you have to air a little dirty laundry, shake out the dust, and scrub away the grime.
For the last nine years I have been with a man who I thought was a dear companion, a good father and an honest person. Nothing could have been further from the truth. On December 17th, 2013 my whole world came crashing down around me. Hopes and dreams that I had for the future of my family had to be reevaluated. The man who I thought would never wrong me or my children… well I discovered that he was really a monster. I won’t go into detail as to what happened but know that this man, who I called lover and husband, is now sitting behind bars for a long time and left me to pick up the pieces. People that I thought I could trust either broke that trust or vanished from my life. Someone once said that you don’t really know who loves you, and will stand by you, until you go through a crisis. I have found this to be very true.
Trust is such a fragile thing, and once broken it cannot always be mended.
And it is because of this, and the fact that I have to protect my children, that I have closed some doors and broken some ties.
Now here I am months later feeling like a dense mental fog is being lifting, feeling like a thick veil that shrouded me from everyone and everything has been torn asunder. There are days of extreme sadness and pain. But there are bright points of happiness as well. I rarely talk about my personal life on this blog but due to the situation I find myself having to confess that one of the many reasons I am not regular with my postings is because of health issues, both mental and physical, that have been exacerbated by the events that started in December of last year.
So why am I telling you all of this?
I speak out on these issues because I think it is unfair that you my readers and peers should have to suffer consequences from my inability to balance my life at this moment. Because despite desperately trying to keep my personal life and my business life separate my personal life has been affecting my business life.
I tell you this because I have held back on posting certain things over the years because I was convinced by a master manipulator that who I was as a person wasn’t good enough and shouldn’t be shared. I held back because I was convinced that sharing my hopes, dreams, passions, interests, fears and goals would not be received well and that I just shouldn’t bother.
THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE.
I lost who I was as a person and now I am working on regaining who I am. I need to take some time to get my life back in order and to heal my heart and soul. I tell you this dear reader because I don’t want any of you to think that I have given up on my true goals and dreams. I may not post as much as I would like over the next couple of weeks but I will get back to regular daily postings very shortly.
Thank you all for your patience and understanding.